After letting the last post soak in, you will fall into one of two categories. Either you heed the advice and take on that view of the world, living life to the fullest, appreciating those you love, letting go of grudges, or you pretend to understand and continue taking your existence for granted. Sure you were touched by the words, sad because of what happened, sympathetic towards the victim and his family and friends, but lets face it, it didn’t happen to you and you won’t change until it does.
I can’t criticize you for ending up as the former; I’ve been on both sides. I think most people have. It takes an unusually wise person to be able to appreciate things/people they love without ever having lost. That’s why they say some good comes out of death. People come together, wisen up, begin to understand. But enough of that.
This post really is about something that is somewhat unrelated. It has a little to do with 111. You may want to read the first section of this page before continuing http://www.angelscribe.com/1111.html , but you don’t have to. Anyone else catch themselves noticing when its 1:11 a little too often? Or after 9/11 you’re suddenly always aware of the number when you see it around, and now you see it “everywhere”? Well I do always catch myself seeing 1:11 or 11:11 on the clock lately, and I’m not saying I believe it means anything, but it brings up an interesting subject.
Most people look at that time and make a wish, “almost like making a wish when a cake with candles is presented to you.” So of course when I heard that I wanted to start making wishes every time I saw it. The only problem was that I could never decide on anything before 1:12 hit, or 2:00 for that matter. I hadn’t made a concrete decision until today. It’s not that I couldn’t think of anything to wish for (the obvious hit the lottery wish always came to mind) but that I couldn’t find anything that I truly, passionately wanted. Yea it’d be great to have millions of dollars, but ehh, if it doesn’t happen so be it. Everything I really want in life, is right in front of me. People may describe it as a little bit of money, a loving family, and good health. To really simplify it, I just want a reason to smile.
There are people out there without loving families, with very poor health, and with little to no money. I don’t know what they would wish for when 1:11 came around, maybe its something specific, maybe it’s a little of everything. But my wish is that everyone, everywhere can find a reason to smile.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Cherish Those You Love...
So I'm going to be real here...maybe I didn't feel as bad as I should have for this dead guy I saw today because I've had a lot of people die in my life. But what I know is that my friends, which I love, that I was with tonight were extremely shaken up over the fact. So this is what I want to say...Life is fucking short people and anyone you love can die at any second. Now I know this seems heavy as hell, but it's true, I saw it first hand tonight, and at any moment you can go from having a great time at the bar with a friend to having a terrible time with the police about their death. I'm going to be real about what I saw. We walked out of the bar and crossed the street to get to our car. When we got to the sidewalk there was a large group of people, about our age, who were screaming about their friend. We looked down and saw a body, which we assumed was dead, about a foot from the curb on top of a pool of blood and a pile of fucking gook next to his skull that was his brains. Now we didn't know anyone who was involved but we asked what happened and no one that was there paid any attention to us. So after we internalized the scene we promptly left out of respect for those who where there. That being said, it was a tragic scene that no one our age should have to witness.
Even though I wasn't as affected as my friends over what we had just witnessed, I cared about thier feelings and realized that that could have been any of them. I started thinking what if I was the lone helpless person screaming at the police for help about my friend who's brains were splattered over the street. I would have been fucking devestated and angry at the world for probably the rest of my life. But it didn't involve me so I have to be thankful for the friends and family that I presently do have to spend my life with. All I want you to get out of this post is to cherish those who are dear to you and to end any unnessecary grudges you may have.
So please don't take anyone around you for granted and especially don't leave any confrontation unsettled, becuase it is not worth it. Some internal beef between you and a loved one, whether it's family or a friend, is not worth being guilty about for the rest of your life. And I promise you no matter how legamite you think your reason is, it's not worth leaving unresolved. So whatever the problem is that you have with someone you care or used to care about, needs to be taken care of ASAP. Life is too short to harbor ill will towards anyone, especially if at one time they were close to you.
So please take this experience that was so damaging to me and my friends as a wake up call so you can end any unnessecary dispute or disagreement you may have, and realize that the interactions with that person are much more valuable than the supposed lesson you think you are teaching them by ignoring their existence. Like I said earlier, maybe I'm the one who's fucked up by not actually feeling terrible about what we witnessed, but I do know that the pain I saw my friends in is real and I don't want to be the person that puts someone through that pain when I'm gone. I'd rather the people I care about or cares about me be at peace with our relationship when I die, instead of having regrets or vice versa. That's not to say that you aren't going to feel pain or some tangible emotion when a person you care about passes, because you should be physically moved by that occurance, but those emotions shouldn't be tainted by regrets. You shouldn't be upset over a loss becuase you feel that you failed to mend a relationship with that person. You should only be upset because it is now impossible to carry on a relationship.
All I'm trying to say is that I have a lot of unanswered questions with the people that I've already lost and I have surpressed my feelings in order to avoid any negative emotions those losses warrant, and I don't want you to end up the same way. Most of the time I'm alone in dealing with the loss of someone important, but tonight I witnessed first hand that pain is normal and the magnitude of the loss isn't what's importnant. All that matters is how you spent the time with that person, and that is what will determine how you deal with their loss. So don't waste any more time with the selfish notion that you're right or their wrong, because in the end those emotions are trivial. Just step up and end whatever rifts you may have so when the time comes you can be at peace with your relationship with that person. The last thing you want to do is have any regrets or questions that can never be resolved.
Even though I wasn't as affected as my friends over what we had just witnessed, I cared about thier feelings and realized that that could have been any of them. I started thinking what if I was the lone helpless person screaming at the police for help about my friend who's brains were splattered over the street. I would have been fucking devestated and angry at the world for probably the rest of my life. But it didn't involve me so I have to be thankful for the friends and family that I presently do have to spend my life with. All I want you to get out of this post is to cherish those who are dear to you and to end any unnessecary grudges you may have.
So please don't take anyone around you for granted and especially don't leave any confrontation unsettled, becuase it is not worth it. Some internal beef between you and a loved one, whether it's family or a friend, is not worth being guilty about for the rest of your life. And I promise you no matter how legamite you think your reason is, it's not worth leaving unresolved. So whatever the problem is that you have with someone you care or used to care about, needs to be taken care of ASAP. Life is too short to harbor ill will towards anyone, especially if at one time they were close to you.
So please take this experience that was so damaging to me and my friends as a wake up call so you can end any unnessecary dispute or disagreement you may have, and realize that the interactions with that person are much more valuable than the supposed lesson you think you are teaching them by ignoring their existence. Like I said earlier, maybe I'm the one who's fucked up by not actually feeling terrible about what we witnessed, but I do know that the pain I saw my friends in is real and I don't want to be the person that puts someone through that pain when I'm gone. I'd rather the people I care about or cares about me be at peace with our relationship when I die, instead of having regrets or vice versa. That's not to say that you aren't going to feel pain or some tangible emotion when a person you care about passes, because you should be physically moved by that occurance, but those emotions shouldn't be tainted by regrets. You shouldn't be upset over a loss becuase you feel that you failed to mend a relationship with that person. You should only be upset because it is now impossible to carry on a relationship.
All I'm trying to say is that I have a lot of unanswered questions with the people that I've already lost and I have surpressed my feelings in order to avoid any negative emotions those losses warrant, and I don't want you to end up the same way. Most of the time I'm alone in dealing with the loss of someone important, but tonight I witnessed first hand that pain is normal and the magnitude of the loss isn't what's importnant. All that matters is how you spent the time with that person, and that is what will determine how you deal with their loss. So don't waste any more time with the selfish notion that you're right or their wrong, because in the end those emotions are trivial. Just step up and end whatever rifts you may have so when the time comes you can be at peace with your relationship with that person. The last thing you want to do is have any regrets or questions that can never be resolved.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Hyberdating- The Friend Killer
If Seinfeld was still on the air there's no doubt the next episode would start off with Jerry on stage asking 'What's the deal with Hyberdating?'. Now if you have to ask what Hyberdating is then you're either an innocent virgin with no friends or an asshole who has given the old 'fuck ya self' to his buddies and has crawled up his girlfriends vagina. Okay, maybe I'm just a casuality of 'Hyberdating', which is why I'm familiar with its meaning, origin and result, so for the rest of you here it is:
Hyberdating (Highber-deyting)
- Noun
1. an unhealthy relationship in which a male or female cowers behind the demands of their partner.
2. a period of withdrawl or seclusion from a persons regular lifestlye and friends due to the requests of his or her boy/girl-friend.
Basically, Hyberdating is what happens when that one whipped friend we all have gives up on their own life and succumbs to the extremely low self-confidence of whomever they are dating. That being said, let's face it people, we've all been there at one point or another, because a short period of Hyberdating is normal. Not only is it normal but it's down right American. It's as American as apple pie and free blow jobs. Anyone who has ever gotten the sex has gone through the initial stage or hyberdating when you've found that special some one and lost yourself in the blissful state of fuck and blocked off the entire outside world because let's face it; they're not fucking you. But after the whimsical glamour of the sexy sex wears off and you realize whomever is fucking you will continue to fuck you despite the interaction of other human beings, you slowly begin to treat that person like shit while you search for your next conquest. Even the alien race of married people get over the Hyberdating period when the wet sex turns into dry hand jobs and a 9am tee-time is the equivalent of a back door Tiajuana Tug Job.
But like I said, that's fucking normal. What's not normal is when those hammers that start off like 'oh she's just some bitch im stuffing' turn into 'oh sorry, I can't make your birthday party because Stacey has work early tomorrow', then finish their Bud heavy, slide under the covers, spoon, and not have sex. Listen, I'm all for the relationship and finding that member of the opposite or same sex that completes you and makes you want to get wierd and shit, but when you slip into that social coma and hide your porridge from Goldilocks you've clearly crossed the line.
Hyberdating is the death of social gatherings. The death of friendly shitshows and bad decisions. Basically it's the death of comdey. I mean isn't shit only funny if you have friends to share it with and someone your sleeping with to hide it from? The non-single, fun loving, independant person is an endangered species and it's up to every single on of us to stop this disaster. What can we do, you ask. Well we need to stop enabling those hyberdating hammers and tell them it's time to grow the fuck up. Tell them that a drunken night out with their friends is more important than snuggling on the couch watching Cupcake Wars.
The person you were before you met your enslaver was formed by the people you surrounded yourself with and the situations you all got your self into. So re-grow your balls and tell your slavemaster you need to retain your old lifestyle in order to remain the person they fell in love with. If they can't accept that then thier either friendless losers or you're an ex-pedofile.
Hyberdating (Highber-deyting)
- Noun
1. an unhealthy relationship in which a male or female cowers behind the demands of their partner.
2. a period of withdrawl or seclusion from a persons regular lifestlye and friends due to the requests of his or her boy/girl-friend.
Basically, Hyberdating is what happens when that one whipped friend we all have gives up on their own life and succumbs to the extremely low self-confidence of whomever they are dating. That being said, let's face it people, we've all been there at one point or another, because a short period of Hyberdating is normal. Not only is it normal but it's down right American. It's as American as apple pie and free blow jobs. Anyone who has ever gotten the sex has gone through the initial stage or hyberdating when you've found that special some one and lost yourself in the blissful state of fuck and blocked off the entire outside world because let's face it; they're not fucking you. But after the whimsical glamour of the sexy sex wears off and you realize whomever is fucking you will continue to fuck you despite the interaction of other human beings, you slowly begin to treat that person like shit while you search for your next conquest. Even the alien race of married people get over the Hyberdating period when the wet sex turns into dry hand jobs and a 9am tee-time is the equivalent of a back door Tiajuana Tug Job.
But like I said, that's fucking normal. What's not normal is when those hammers that start off like 'oh she's just some bitch im stuffing' turn into 'oh sorry, I can't make your birthday party because Stacey has work early tomorrow', then finish their Bud heavy, slide under the covers, spoon, and not have sex. Listen, I'm all for the relationship and finding that member of the opposite or same sex that completes you and makes you want to get wierd and shit, but when you slip into that social coma and hide your porridge from Goldilocks you've clearly crossed the line.
Hyberdating is the death of social gatherings. The death of friendly shitshows and bad decisions. Basically it's the death of comdey. I mean isn't shit only funny if you have friends to share it with and someone your sleeping with to hide it from? The non-single, fun loving, independant person is an endangered species and it's up to every single on of us to stop this disaster. What can we do, you ask. Well we need to stop enabling those hyberdating hammers and tell them it's time to grow the fuck up. Tell them that a drunken night out with their friends is more important than snuggling on the couch watching Cupcake Wars.
The person you were before you met your enslaver was formed by the people you surrounded yourself with and the situations you all got your self into. So re-grow your balls and tell your slavemaster you need to retain your old lifestyle in order to remain the person they fell in love with. If they can't accept that then thier either friendless losers or you're an ex-pedofile.
HOW HAS NO ONE REALIZED THIS REPORTER IS AN ALIEN?
So if you haven't seen this video yet you're either an Amish or a Homeless. At this point though I bet even those technology shunners have seen this shit. I know it seems like I'm late as hell on the whole "Semi-smoke reporter blows it at the Grammy's" tip, but hold ya horses Tanto, because like Nas says "I'm never on schedule, but always on time". It's a good fucking thing too, because there is a god damn national...no fuck that...mother fucking global security threat, level 30 color infa-red type shit, right before our eyes and all anyone can talk about is how this bitch is a fraud and that she's really just a retard who's trying to cover shit up with tall tales of mythical strokes and migranes.
Fine, I'll bite, this broad is totally hiding some shit. And by some shit I mean some let's bomb Iraq over alleged WMD's type shit. Yeah that's right, some 1998 Rush Hour FBI G-14 Classified type shit. Like clearly this is bigger than some run of the mill human ailment. I mean first of all why would some semi-famous LA reporter pull a Billy Madison on national TV and have the opportunity to write it off as a stroke, a hands down legitamite no questions asked catastophe, but come out the next day and proclaim complete health? Then, only after a furry of vicious backlash does she come out and say that she struggles with 'migranes'? I DON'T BUY IT! NOT FOR ONE SECOND! Let's be real here, LA is all about the image. And this bitch having a bona-fide stroke on regional TV during the god damn Grammy's garners 600 times more sympathy than some ambigious ailment that can't even be proved such as migranes.
That being said, this broad is clearly an alien. I mean there's no if's, and's or but's about it. Listen, you couldn't plan that shit with the help of Vince Lombardi or write that shit with the help of Alan Sorkin. Jenna Jameson would have won a god damn Oscar with that performance, and she's a porn star that hasn't taken a cock since Clinton was in office. But guess what...it wasn't a performance mother fuckers. NO! That was a poor, low-grade, alien slave of some gravely misinformed extraterestial race that thought either A. Her local ABC affiliate news channel is important or B. The Grammy's are some sort of ultra-important political propoganda. Why else would they unleash the mother-load upon us at at such a time?
I mean clearly this bitch is Public Enemy Number One on the Men in Black's most wanted list. Like how this didn't cause mass panic on some 'the galaxy is on orion's belt' type shit is beyond me. Like how Will Smith didn't jump out from a jewelry store and attempt to Noisy Cricket her ass is a fucking mystery. The bottom line is this- no way does some random, LA wanna be fame slut, go 347% retard on national TV and NOT cover it up. Clearly, by the stroke rejection, her message was meant to be recieved by other fellow aliens as some sort of 'call to arms'. No self-respecting human being lets some shit like this go unjustified. PERIOD.
By the way...is it just me or does that fact that this broad's an alien shoot her straight up to the Number One Spot on the Bucket Fuck List? Like as a human being she's already a half decent older broad that I would easily smash without reason. But after knowing she's an alien? That's like G.O.A.T shit right there. Like if you thought banging a Spanish chick was hot because she said shit like 'papi', 'caliente', and 'mas rapiado', well what about jibberish like 'we had a very deris...derison by let's go ahe ajdhf akdfhu...'? I don't know about you, but dirty talk like that makes me bust a load quicker than Victoria Silvestdt Play-Mate of the Year.
Even though I have no fucking idea what verbal nonsense she diarrhead from her mouth or can I find a single person on Earth to translate for me, I know she meant business. Like when the molten fires of Hades are upon us and the time to atone for our mortal sins is here, banging the Gatekeeper has to count for something right? Right. I honestly don't care what you say because when the mortal harbinger of death appears I'll have the native tongue of my fuck piece memorized and chant 'but les ho terik tayson lo vit' and be safe as hell.
So to recap: Serene Branson is an alien and you're an idiot if you think she's just some run of the mill LA wannabe.
Bringin the Heat With...
Maino- Yeah Carmelo
Homie what it do, welcome to the Knicks...
Last season that was nothin...
Got Mello on the squad now we stuntin...
Reppin my town when you see me at the Garden screamin yeah Carmelo, yeah Carmelo...
Shakespeare who? I almost cant believe Maino penned such masterful poetry. If I didn't know better I'd think he stole this from Keats or Shelley or fucking Poe. I mean Maino is the hottest rapper alive right? Like Melo just got traded 3 seconds ago and now Maino just dropped the hottest song since "Juicy". I'd like to see Jay Z do that. It took him like 3 years to come out with Kingdom Come which sucked ass, and Maino drops the G.O.A.T in like 5 minutes. Jay Z needs to become a permanent resident of New Jersey after this joint. Seriously, he couldn't get the Mello trade done now he's getting shit on by Maino. They need to rename the "HOV Lanes" to the "MAINO Lanes" like this second.
In the famous words of Dylan from Making the Band: "The five greatest rappers of all time are Maino, Maino, Maino, Maino and Maino, because I spit hot fire!"
Homie what it do, welcome to the Knicks...
Last season that was nothin...
Got Mello on the squad now we stuntin...
Reppin my town when you see me at the Garden screamin yeah Carmelo, yeah Carmelo...
Shakespeare who? I almost cant believe Maino penned such masterful poetry. If I didn't know better I'd think he stole this from Keats or Shelley or fucking Poe. I mean Maino is the hottest rapper alive right? Like Melo just got traded 3 seconds ago and now Maino just dropped the hottest song since "Juicy". I'd like to see Jay Z do that. It took him like 3 years to come out with Kingdom Come which sucked ass, and Maino drops the G.O.A.T in like 5 minutes. Jay Z needs to become a permanent resident of New Jersey after this joint. Seriously, he couldn't get the Mello trade done now he's getting shit on by Maino. They need to rename the "HOV Lanes" to the "MAINO Lanes" like this second.
In the famous words of Dylan from Making the Band: "The five greatest rappers of all time are Maino, Maino, Maino, Maino and Maino, because I spit hot fire!"
Friday, February 18, 2011
MELO TO THE BIG APPLE
http://sports.espn.go.com/new-york/nba/news/story?id=6145912HIDE YA WIFE, HIDE YA KIDS, HIDE YA TEAM, THE KNICKS ARE RAPIN ERRABODY! Let's face it, the NBA is done. Put a god damn fork in that bitch. Melo to the Knicks?!?! As if we didn't already kick the rest of America's ass in everything else that we do. But now in one fell swoop we've takin control of interstellar domination int he NBA? Wow-wow-wee-wow! What the Knicks just did esentially was take a bunch of Lindsay Lohans, smother them in rose scented valtrex, and swindle some retard into mistaking them for a gaggle of Grade-A smokeshows and in return get Brooklyn Decker.
Now let's get one thing straight right off the bat...this was a motherfucking NO BRAINER for the good old Knickerbockers. For all you knicks fans out there crying like little pussies that we gave up too much for Melo, a one way player, and Billups, an aging point gaurd, are fucking morons. Every ugly loser out there will try to tell you its quantity over quality, but deep down all those hammers are jealous of the studs wheeling the Adriana Lima's of the world. And it's about time ladies and gentlemen, that the Knicks finally stepped up and regained their place as the top stud of the NBA.
As for the trade itself- The Knicks sent Felton, Chandler, Gallo, Mozgov, 2014 1st round pick and two second round picks to the Nuggets for Anthony, Billups and the glorious return of Renaldo Balkman. They also sent Anthony Randolph and Eddy Curry, both of whom haven't touched the court all year to the Timberwolves for Corey Brewer and the ugliest man on earth AKA Candace Parker's fuck toy AKA Sheldon Williams.
So purley by the numbers, yes the Knicks gave up a lot. 4/5's of their starting line up might seem like a steep price to pay for two players but when one of those players is a bona fide top 5 nba pure scorer it's totally worth it. Gallo is the only rare commodity we really gave up in this deal because he is one of those rare Peja Stojakovic shooters that are hard to come by, but he continually dissapears in games and even at his best while playing 40 minutes a game fails to put up 30. Mozgov, although very raw now, may turn out to be a very good NBA center given his rare combination of size and athleticism but he's a soft European and at best he turns into a Vlade Divacs or Andrew Bogut. Felton had been playing out of his bird at the begining of the season but has tailed off lately and is much more likely to regress to his Bobacts form over the course of the season. And although I love Wilson Chandler and think he's the man, he's not going to get much better than he is, period. If you really look at it he's just a less talented Carmelo Anthony, that's it. And as far as our first round pick 13 years from now, let's face it, we haven't made a good first round pick since Ewing in 85.
This trade makes the Knicks a better team RIGHT NOW. We're not going to win a Championship this or next season, but we'll easily win 50 games next year and grab another elite player in free agency when Billups' 15 mil comes off the books at the end of the season. Everyone we gave up is easily replaceable and the only area this leave us vulnerable in is center, but we're much more effective with Amare at Power Foward than Center anyway. Turiaf has played well in relief and at 30+ minutes a game he'll give the Knicks that hard nosed, gritty defense they'll need with the defensivly inept Mello and Amare. Billups is still a great scorer and can run the pick and roll better than Felton which is where both Amare and Mello thrive.
So purley by the numbers, yes the Knicks gave up a lot. 4/5's of their starting line up might seem like a steep price to pay for two players but when one of those players is a bona fide top 5 nba pure scorer it's totally worth it. Gallo is the only rare commodity we really gave up in this deal because he is one of those rare Peja Stojakovic shooters that are hard to come by, but he continually dissapears in games and even at his best while playing 40 minutes a game fails to put up 30. Mozgov, although very raw now, may turn out to be a very good NBA center given his rare combination of size and athleticism but he's a soft European and at best he turns into a Vlade Divacs or Andrew Bogut. Felton had been playing out of his bird at the begining of the season but has tailed off lately and is much more likely to regress to his Bobacts form over the course of the season. And although I love Wilson Chandler and think he's the man, he's not going to get much better than he is, period. If you really look at it he's just a less talented Carmelo Anthony, that's it. And as far as our first round pick 13 years from now, let's face it, we haven't made a good first round pick since Ewing in 85.
This trade makes the Knicks a better team RIGHT NOW. We're not going to win a Championship this or next season, but we'll easily win 50 games next year and grab another elite player in free agency when Billups' 15 mil comes off the books at the end of the season. Everyone we gave up is easily replaceable and the only area this leave us vulnerable in is center, but we're much more effective with Amare at Power Foward than Center anyway. Turiaf has played well in relief and at 30+ minutes a game he'll give the Knicks that hard nosed, gritty defense they'll need with the defensivly inept Mello and Amare. Billups is still a great scorer and can run the pick and roll better than Felton which is where both Amare and Mello thrive.
It's an undeniable fact that to be a contender or even relevant in the NBA now, you need top level stars, and even though we went out and got Amare it wasn't enough. Yeah we had a nice supporting cast around him and we've been a much better than any other Knicks squads over the past decade. And yeah, we would have made the playoffs and maybe even won a series or two over the next few years. But a Championship? Get real. No way Felton, Fields, Gallo, Chandler and Amare beat the Magic, Celtics, Bulls or Heat. But now with Mello and Amare we have two all-stars that can compete with any one in the league. And sure this season we wont be much better, but it will be fun as hell watching Amare and Mello burn the fucking court up while dropping 30 a game and playing no defense.
But mark my words, we'll get either Chris Paul or Deron Williams in the offseason and add a true center and great defending role player like Shane Battier and will become a god damn dynasty once again.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Ayo Technology
Remember polyphonic ringtones? When your Nokia would play "regulators" or "still fly" one high pitched note at a time?
You may have dreamed about reading your texts in 3-D (LG just unveiled the world's first 3-D smartphone)
Wished you could take your Playstation with you to school (Sony Ericsson announces new PlayStation smartphone: http://www.cnn.com/2011/TECH/mobile/02/14/sony.ericsson.playstation.smartphone/index.html#)
Prayed that you could be the recipient of constant blow jobs (Verizon Wire...yea right I wish)
But you get the point. Smart Phones are slowly becoming the one stop shop for all your needs.
Which brings me to my point. Stop fucking relying on it. You keep your head down and your fingers scrolling and you're gonna miss out on life. Make some eye contact, open the door for someone, endure the awkward elevator ride.
You don't want to wake up and realize your toothbrush has a google logo on it.
You may have dreamed about reading your texts in 3-D (LG just unveiled the world's first 3-D smartphone)
Wished you could take your Playstation with you to school (Sony Ericsson announces new PlayStation smartphone: http://www.cnn.com/2011/TECH/mobile/02/14/sony.ericsson.playstation.smartphone/index.html#)
Prayed that you could be the recipient of constant blow jobs (Verizon Wire...yea right I wish)
But you get the point. Smart Phones are slowly becoming the one stop shop for all your needs.
Which brings me to my point. Stop fucking relying on it. You keep your head down and your fingers scrolling and you're gonna miss out on life. Make some eye contact, open the door for someone, endure the awkward elevator ride.
You don't want to wake up and realize your toothbrush has a google logo on it.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Granny's Grammys
Esperanza Spalding winning best new artist meant i got to read a bunch of headlines that creatively warped Justin Biebers last name to spell shit. Good looks girl! We got a very diverse list of nominees. Esperanza Spalding: Welsh/Hispanic/Native American/Black, Drake: Jewish Canadian/African American, and Justin Bieber: White/Usher.
But even more intriguing is that the winner was chosen based off talent, not fame. Millions of surprised fans filled their google box with Esperanza's name trying to figure out who the hell she was. One eager Bieber (see don't you love the flexibility??) commented "A winner, based off merit?!?! WTF?!", and another, "Since when doesn't the performer take the award??!"
Maybe Esperanza represents the hope real music fans worldwide share, that the industry can get back to music, no gimmicks. Not that I put Drake and Justin in that category, but you gotta admit, they're headed in that direction.
Check out this performance by Esperanza and judge for yourself.
But even more intriguing is that the winner was chosen based off talent, not fame. Millions of surprised fans filled their google box with Esperanza's name trying to figure out who the hell she was. One eager Bieber (see don't you love the flexibility??) commented "A winner, based off merit?!?! WTF?!", and another, "Since when doesn't the performer take the award??!"
Maybe Esperanza represents the hope real music fans worldwide share, that the industry can get back to music, no gimmicks. Not that I put Drake and Justin in that category, but you gotta admit, they're headed in that direction.
Check out this performance by Esperanza and judge for yourself.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
We're Back Baby!
Alright bitches...WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS BABY!
I don't know about Lasagna but The Behn Train has dissapointed many a people in his day, but that shit stops now. Out with the old and in with the motherfucking newness like a plastered throttling of some poor unsuspecting broad after a bad break up and basking in the glorious aroma of strange pussy and freedom...or however that saying goes. But seriously...I vow to avenge my past dickery and disrespect of the "long hairs" (woman)...well at least the ones I know personally. I mean come on people what the fuck is the internet here for if a suave mother fucker such as myself can't degrade a couple of barrell-assess or laugh at some bozo's giving each other the hucklebuck? The internet was built on smut and I shall continue to ride that glorious tube until I either conquer that bitch or it breaks and smashes my ass on the vicious coral reef of humiliation.
Listen the bottom line is this- whatever you need to get you through the day we're gunna have it. Girls, sports, idiots...whatever your entertainment needs are check with us at the Blue Long Island baby!
And of course feel free to leave any comments, suggestions or good old swagger bashing you may feel inclined to.
LATER
I don't know about Lasagna but The Behn Train has dissapointed many a people in his day, but that shit stops now. Out with the old and in with the motherfucking newness like a plastered throttling of some poor unsuspecting broad after a bad break up and basking in the glorious aroma of strange pussy and freedom...or however that saying goes. But seriously...I vow to avenge my past dickery and disrespect of the "long hairs" (woman)...well at least the ones I know personally. I mean come on people what the fuck is the internet here for if a suave mother fucker such as myself can't degrade a couple of barrell-assess or laugh at some bozo's giving each other the hucklebuck? The internet was built on smut and I shall continue to ride that glorious tube until I either conquer that bitch or it breaks and smashes my ass on the vicious coral reef of humiliation.
Listen the bottom line is this- whatever you need to get you through the day we're gunna have it. Girls, sports, idiots...whatever your entertainment needs are check with us at the Blue Long Island baby!
And of course feel free to leave any comments, suggestions or good old swagger bashing you may feel inclined to.
LATER
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