Women had it great once and so did men. I mean back in the day when women knew their place and held down the kitchen and washroom and men went to work all day, drank scotch, then came home and got the big fucking turkey leg was a win-win for both sexes. A woman knew a man loved her because he allowed her to sleep in the same bed as him and a man knew a woman loved him because she kept her ass at home and didn't even dare look at another cock. It was the little things that mattered. Life was good. Life was simple. But not anymore folks. Women had to go ruin it all. They had to get all self righteous and roll up their sleeves and swing monkey wrenches all over the place like Super Mario and demand equal rights and shit. They traded in a sweet life of please and thank you's for a swift fresh one across the face. You had your chance at politeness and chivalry but ya blew it. Sorry Charlie.
And you'd think that since men were the ones that granted them equality they'd display some sort of gratitude towards us and throw us a free blow job once in a while. But that didn't happen. Opening car doors and challenging swordsmen to duels wasn't enough. Instead they all got together in cahoots and decided some whacky idea that they controlled the pussy and that we had to earn it. And us men, being the fools we are, fucking fell for it. Hook, line and sinker.
I never really thought about it until walking down 6th Avenue today after work and saw something that would have made me shit my pants if I had any on. It was relatively warm out and by that I mean 30 degrees and a fucking rigshaw comes whipping around the corner and inside I see this smug little couple all suggled together wrapped up in a blanket. And why do you think that was, huh? Because there were no fucking cabs available? No god damn it. It was because the guy wanted to be romantic so he threw logic to the wind and decided to freeze his dick off while cruising around the city in an open carriage pulled by an imigrant on a bicycle. I'm telling you that women have caused men to go legally insane in their attempts to prove their love. You want romance? I'll show you romance when I pay for a fucking cab with my money to haul your ass in so you don't freeze to death. Now that's romance boys a girls, keeping the women you love out of harms way. But that's not good enough for todays women. You don't love them or your not romantic unless you go above and beyond or out of your way to do something utterly impractical for them. I remember the day when a dozen roses said "I love you" on Valentines Day. But now all that means is that "I didn't put enough thought into it". So now I have to take the mother fucking week off from work to go putter around a ceramics class in order to craft some fucking vase for your ass that's so god awful it literally makes the world an uglier place, just to prove that I care about you.
What the fuck would have happened to that fools girlfriend the other night if their "romantic" rigshaw got smashed by some bus? Dead. The both of them would have been bloody graffiti all over the side of some Duane Reade. Now how fucking romantic is that, huh? But if they were in a cab then what? Maybe a few scrapes or a couple broken bones. So I implore you all to stop throwing caution to the wind and wake the fuck up. Ladies, if a man does something nice for you, just fucking accept that shit. Guys, if a girl idea of a romantic evening is a home cooked meal that you are in no way capable of pulling off with out lighting the kitchen on fire, then dump her ass.
LATER
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