Cherish Those You Love...

So I'm going to be real here...maybe I didn't feel as bad as I should have for this dead guy I saw today because I've had a lot of people die in my life. But what I know is that my friends, which I love, that I was with tonight were extremely shaken up over the fact. So this is what I want to say...Life is fucking short people and anyone you love can die at any second. Now I know this seems heavy as hell, but it's true, I saw it first hand tonight, and at any moment you can go from having a great time at the bar with a friend to having a terrible time with the police about their death. I'm going to be real about what I saw. We walked out of the bar and crossed the street to get to our car. When we got to the sidewalk there was a large group of people, about our age, who were screaming about their friend. We looked down and saw a body, which we assumed was dead, about a foot from the curb on top of a pool of blood and a pile of fucking gook next to his skull that was his brains. Now we didn't know anyone who was involved but we asked what happened and no one that was there paid any attention to us. So after we internalized the scene we promptly left out of respect for those who where there. That being said, it was a tragic scene that no one our age should have to witness.
Even though I wasn't as affected as my friends over what we had just witnessed, I cared about thier feelings and realized that that could have been any of them. I started thinking what if I was the lone helpless person screaming at the police for help about my friend who's brains were splattered over the street. I would have been fucking devestated and angry at the world for probably the rest of my life. But it didn't involve me so I have to be thankful for the friends and family that I presently do have to spend my life with. All I want you to get out of this post is to cherish those who are dear to you and to end any unnessecary grudges you may have.
So please don't take anyone around you for granted and especially don't leave any confrontation unsettled, becuase it is not worth it. Some internal beef between you and a loved one, whether it's family or a friend, is not worth being guilty about for the rest of your life. And I promise you no matter how legamite you think your reason is, it's not worth leaving unresolved. So whatever the problem is that you have with someone you care or used to care about, needs to be taken care of ASAP. Life is too short to harbor ill will towards anyone, especially if at one time they were close to you.
So please take this experience that was so damaging to me and my friends as a wake up call so you can end any unnessecary dispute or disagreement you may have, and realize that the interactions with that person are much more valuable than the supposed lesson you think you are teaching them by ignoring their existence. Like I said earlier, maybe I'm the one who's fucked up by not actually feeling terrible about what we witnessed, but I do know that the pain I saw my friends in is real and I don't want to be the person that puts someone through that pain when I'm gone. I'd rather the people I care about or cares about me be at peace with our relationship when I die, instead of having regrets or vice versa. That's not to say that you aren't going to feel pain or some tangible emotion when a person you care about passes, because you should be physically moved by that occurance, but those emotions shouldn't be tainted by regrets. You shouldn't be upset over a loss becuase you feel that you failed to mend a relationship with that person. You should only be upset because it is now impossible to carry on a relationship.
All I'm trying to say is that I have a lot of unanswered questions with the people that I've already lost and I have surpressed my feelings in order to avoid any negative emotions those losses warrant, and I don't want you to end up the same way. Most of the time I'm alone in dealing with the loss of someone important, but tonight I witnessed first hand that pain is normal and the magnitude of the loss isn't what's importnant. All that matters is how you spent the time with that person, and that is what will determine how you deal with their loss. So don't waste any more time with the selfish notion that you're right or their wrong, because in the end those emotions are trivial. Just step up and end whatever rifts you may have so when the time comes you can be at peace with your relationship with that person. The last thing you want to do is have any regrets or questions that can never be resolved.